Anyway...I somehow keep looping back to the blogs of parents with a loss. I'm not sure how I get into these things, but once I realize what it is, I can't stop reading.
Well yesterday's was about a family that had a happy and healthy little girl. Everything was great with her...until she got a "cold" at 4 months old. The mom didn't think much about it and just treated it like you would any other "cold" in an infant. Well one night the baby just kept coughing, wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep and so finally they took her to the ER. The doctors figured out that it wasn't just a regular cold and thought it might be meningitis (or however you spell that horrid disease). After a couple different hospitals and a dozen+ tests, they found out it was a genetic disease. I can't remember the name of it cause it had to be 30 letters long and sounded absolutely horrible.
Basically it was incurable, and the baby passed away at 9 months old. :'(
This story had me crying ALL AFTERNOON! Kali is 4 months old. Kali has a "cough" that I mentioned to the doctor at her 4 month checkup, but she said it was normal since babies don't breath out of their mouth yet and it's their way of "clearing their throat". But it has me so worried now.
Of course, the second 5pm rolled around I was out the door to pick Kali up and held her all night long.
And then, because I was crying yesterday, I now have a migraine that lasted all night and is still lingering this morning. ::sigh::
I just can't believe everything there is to worry about in the world. There are so many diseases that I've never even heard of, or thought of that could strike at any minute.
The worst thing in the world to me right now would be losing my child. That would be something that I don't know if I could recover from. I think it would be different if I had 2 children, so that I would have one that could keep me going. But right now, with only having Kali - I don't think I could survive it.
So, just like the other night when I lit a candle for Charlotte and Adam...I'll be lighting a candle every night for all the parents out there that have had to live through losing a child too soon!
And I'm going to try and stop looking at those dang blogs! I can't cry everyday! :'(
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